Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 7 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
Your “Secret Subject” is:
Without a doubt, it was the silliest thing to say…
It was submitted by: https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/
This was so much harder than it would seem. I mean I have so much to choose from until I actually sit down to write and my mind goes totally blank! You see, I’ve said so many “silly” things that it would be hard to pick just one. I mean come on guys, if you know me at all you know that most everything I do would be considered silly!
I come from a long line of silliness, hell, I even married silly! Now, I wish that I had taken more notes. I’ve missed silly in my life lately and I’m striving to get it back. As most of you know, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and it’s been trying to drag me down and I’m fighting every single day to not let it. Some days I win some days the darkness does.
I’m losing my mother. I’ve known it was coming for a very long time, I mean let’s face it she’s 82 and has been battling Alzheimer’s Disease for the last 7 or 8 years. We’ve been traveling along this road for a very long time, but now that metastatic breast cancer has been found every time I see her I’m cognizant that it may be the last time. She still walks around and never complains, yet she has cancer in her breasts, lungs, liver and lymph nodes. I’m so in awe of her, but while she’s still here her mind is not. She no longer knows me and I know that she would absolutely hate going through life this way.
This death sentence has had other staggering effects. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realize that for my whole life I’ve been taking care of someone. My father died when I was only 15, so I could never go too far for too long. All my life I’ve chafed against the confines of my life feeling like a dog with a chain that is much to short. I’ve dreamed of running far and wide, living a gypsy-isque life. A lot of people think that’s silly, but we all have our dreams and this has been a dream that my husband and I have spoken about in the wee hours of the night when no one was listening for the last 27 years.
He had his first child and 16 and I had mine at 19 so there was never a “we” time. We both had a child when we met and then immediately had one together. It wasn’t easy, but we had a good life, actually, we had a great life all the time thinking we’d be in our early 40’s when our youngest turned 18. We’d have plenty of time. You never really have “plenty” of time.
I don’t want to be 82 and realize that I never even attempted to live my dream. Are we supposed to give up our dreams for our loved ones? I think I’ve put mine on hold long enough. Maybe that’s silly and I need to grow up. I do have three grown kids and grandchildren even, but maybe it’s because of them that I just need to do it. Stay tuned…
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com
The Lieber Family Blog http://thelieberfamily.com
The Bergham Chronicles https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com
The Blogging 911 https://theblogging911.com/blog
Cognitive Script https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/
Never Ever Give Up Hope https://batteredhope.blogspot.com
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